Dear Amaral, perhaps your partner wants you to be there but knows your doubts

It is easier for him to make the decision to not be with you from the start than have your initial support and for you to then leave. Irrespective of your family (because let’s face it, your partner doesn’t have to see your family if she/ he doesn’t want to; i.e. they don’t have to be involved) and children (an easily solvable solution via sperm banking) you must make a choice about how much you will love and accept your partner as they change. You still love him now, so find out if he actually does really want you in his life, chances are he does. Then talk about the issues together. How does he imagine his life in the future? Can you imagine being comfortable in a lesbian relationship? Is he interested in men? Does he see having children as an option? What kind of surgeries does he want? All of this will help you decide if you will be able to be in a relationship with him. Think about what you want first and what you are willing to compromise. Read a lot of other blogs and information so you are completely informed about all the options and choices and relationships out there. Then have a big talk with your partner. Good luck,

I need help… My husband is almost 50, I am 35 and a very heterosexual female. He told me when dating about his extra x chromosome but stated he had made the definitely a heterosexual female and have no interest in being with a female. He did not want to give up achievements, jobs, being a father, and his dream of being a husband. So, we married, no further discussion. Then we stopped communicating and no physical intercourse what so ever. We split up and he moved out of state. After approx 8 months we started talking again and I went to visit. His hair was longer, he had gotten a couple “feminine” tattoos, he was taking hormones, and had made new friends (outside of the town he lived and worked in) presenting himself as female.

How do you imagine yours?

He was getting over our break up and happy with his new adventures. Ok, before I go any further I need to clarify something, I am very open minded… My mother has a female life partner, my ex-brother in law is very “out there” gay , I have lots of friends in the LGBTQ community and am supportive. I am in no way homophobic. Now, we discussed getting back together and “trying” small things to explore my comfort zone. The tattoos bothered me but I got over that quickly. We paint each others toes and have went to have pedicures together. No problem. We’ve even went to the salon and got our hair cut and colored and had out eyebrows waxed etc. One day, he comes in with his hair down, kinda unisex cut but long, with french tip fake nails, and women’s tennis shoes.

Then there is the sex issue… I read through some of the previous posts and didn’t come across one that addressed this

It was her coming in not him…. And I got sick. I am attracked to men not women and here is a woman standing in my bedroom. I crave wild, crazy, heterosexual sex. Not toys, or other items to simulate. And with him already having low T and now taking hormones plus being molested/raped/abused when he was young that cannot happen. We are best friends and get along great. We have a great time together all the time but this is a serious issue and I’m not sure how or if I can get passed it. He wants to be a female and is attracted to females.